This past week I’ve been doing a lot of self talk. I’ve tried to do most of it in my head, but I have no doubt that at times drivers with whom I was sharing the road were privy to a serious talkin’ to going on in my car.
Last week I faced a handful of disappointments regarding my writing path. As a result, I parked myself in the middle of my house and expected those around me to throw a pity party on my behalf. Not necessarily the best example for my children, I admit, but it felt good at the time.
On Sunday, I had the privilege of speaking at both services for a church in my hometown. It was a wonderful time and I was blessed. However, after I have the opportunity to minister to others, I find that I need to bathe in some worship of my own and get this sponge soaked again. My family had already endured two services with Mom, so I went to church alone Sunday evening. Don’t get me wrong, I love worshipping with my family, but there is something freeing about not having to manage children during the praise and worship time. I found myself with my arms outstretched, getting filled to the brim by the Holy Spirit. Ahhhhhh.
That’s when I realized it. It’s enough. What Christ has already sacrificially done for me is enough. Dying on the cross to redeem my sins….enough. Everything else is gravy. My faith, my family, my friends and home, our ministry…treasured blessings, but it’s enough.
Does that mean that I will be settling down now and just riding out the rest of my days? As if… No, I’m going to be going and going and going…just like always, but not because I’m seeking His hand of blessing. I just want to see His face. I want to know Him more deeply and for that reason, I will continue to serve Him. Whatever He chooses to do with that, will be additional blessings, but if He chooses something different for us, that’s okay too. He’s not done with me, of that I’m certain. But, He’s already done enough.