Friends, while I’m in Israel I wanted you to hear from author and speaker, Lara Williams. She’s a woman after my own heart, as she too seeks to walk in obedience to the Word of God … even when it’s hard. Check back in a month as I will be interviewing Lara when I get home. In the meantime, you will be blessed to hear how she answers the question …
What if God wants to do the wildly miraculous?
I’m just a woman who wants to be used by this really big God to reflect Him. I’m not worthy. I’m a mess when left to me. But by His absolute grace He’s proven Himself faithful. He’s proven Himself faithful through the painful.
It was nearly five years ago when God revealed my husband’s sin struggle. And to say that the reality completely crushed me would be an understatement. The valley we crawled through was dark and lonely and at times completely hopeless. But God.
I remember laying face-down on my living room floor, desperate for a word from the One reigning above. I didn’t have a clue as to what to do. My heart screamed at me to run far far away. But I knew my heart well. I knew that it was deceitful and selfish and short-sighted.
So I wanted to hear from God — the one who sees the beginning from the end. And He graciously answered.
It was one of those moments when you know that you know that the God of the universe just bent down and spoke directly to your soul. I couldn’t deny His voice. I couldn’t deny His leading.
He whispered, “You can go, sweet daughter. You can walk away. I will always be with you. But if you would dare to stay and allow Me to carry you through this dark place, I will do something wildly miraculous.” Wildly miraculous?!
I kicked and screamed. I cried and said “No!” But deep down I wanted all God had to offer. I didn’t feel like staying put. I wanted to go find someone new and better. But in time He softened my heart and empowered me to keep my feet from running away.
The months and years to follow were excruciating at times. It often seemed like I would take two steps forward with forgiveness, but then fall eight steps back into bitterness and anger. But God wouldn’t let us go.
I wrote “To Walk or Stay” out of the healing God graciously brought through that valley of brokenness. Yes, He has and continues to redeem our home. And yes, my husband is a different man these days. But more than any of that, God changed me. He transformed my own self-focused heart.
God taught me about forgiveness and true love. He challenged me to consider my thought life. He revealed (and then crushed) my insatiable need to control people and circumstances. And He proved His sufficiency.
Though our marriage story lays the backdrop to my book, the message God inspired me to write on these pages is one of hope regardless. In spite of our circumstance, there’s a really big God who wants to meet us in the midst of the mess. He guides when we seek Him and He soothes the most painful of aches.
Regardless of where you find yourself today, know this. There’s a God. He loves you with an everlasting, personal, intimate love. And He stands ready to carry you through even the darkest of seasons.
Thanks for having me, Vicki.
I am deeply thankful to God for this. I am currently walking with my husband as he deals with his sexual sins. Sometimes the pain it causes me is overwhelming and there are moments I do not want to stay but feel incredibly ashamed of thoughts of leaving. But to hear someone admit to dealing with these thoughts and God giving them strength to stay is so unbelievably encouraging. Thank you!